First Lesson Learned in 2010

First lesson learned in 2010: Do not try to bike to the top of a mountain when you 1) have no cycling skills 2) have no brakes 3) are by yourself 4) have no cycling skills and 5) are using your PC issued bike made of lead.

It was not funny to me at the time, but anyone watching me the other morning would have had a real good time. I think I actually rode about 40% of the entire trip, and that would (sadly enough) include the descent. Only one of my brakes even remotely worked (and just barely), my bike chain was bone dry, and the bootleg road was composed of nothing but loose rocks which caused my wheels to slide anytime I so much an inched the handlebars to one side or the other.

I had never taken my bike on this route but when I hike this mountain the best part of the journey is to turn around and enjoy the beautiful view of my entire town. Not this day. My goal when I started was to actually cycle (using the pedals and stuff) to the top, however my butt hadn’t seen the seat since I reached the base of the mountain. On top of my disappointment in myself, I saw the cavernous rocky structure that lay ahead of me to make my decent on the other side. Taking these into account, instead of enjoying the view I said out loud (all by myself on a beautiful mountain top), "%^&* the view," and started the decent, which was much worse than the climb.

I forgot when I planned (or neglected to plan) this little outing that the other side of the mountain is not exactly bike-able (especially, again, with no cycling skills or brakes). The first part is purely made of deep craters and high grasses where, of course, all the poisonous snakes like to play. Due to the craters I had to carry the 4 million pound bike on my shoulders and, due to the possibility of snakes, ran (although you prolly can’t call it that) down the steep, uneven slope to reach the “road,” which was not close-by. I did this while making whimpering noises and nearly passing out from panic because if a nasty snake did bite me I was pretty sure that the only other animal besides me on this mountain, a big white bull, was not going to help me. Once I arrived at the at the road I destroyed my wrist trying to use the one brake that sort-of-but-not-really worked, which also made the most awful sound (if you listed closely almost sounded like, “you are duuuuuuuuuumbbbbb for doing this!!!!”).

I'm glad I didn't die that morning. I should prolly get a different bike, and stronger legs.